Kids Fart – a LOT

Kids fart. A LOT. No really, they are small, gas-fueled creatures who drop bombs every time I turn my head.

I teach an average of 4-5 hours per day. This is more than enough time to introduce me to a whole new world of smells. And sounds. And sneaky sideways glances to see if anyone has noticed…

I’ll be there, you know, teaching, having fun and goofing off for the kiddies as I put a plate on my head and call it a hat so they correct me, and as I lift my hand to take it off, I’m hit. No, not hit, BOMBARDED with a smell that makes my eyes water.

And no one seems to notice this.

Seriously. None of the other kids are noticing that I have been knocked sideways on the floor going, “Wait! What just happened?! Where did that COME from?!” And as they are too busy discussing which color of grapes are better, I have to go open a window before I can resume the lesson.

It often happens that, in the middle of a game, I hear a loud RIIIIIIIIP. I look around and the culprit turns out to be the smallest and most innocent looking of the bunch. And while he/she giggles and continues playing the game like nothing happened, it looks like no one else has even heard this loud trumpet of gaseous nonsense burst out of someone’s behind! No one cares!?!

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, if you farted in a group of friends, or Heaven forbid in class, then you would be made fun of and mocked until your dying day. And not just a little here and there, but you would watch as your classmates reenact the event as dramatically as possible while you try to dig a hole into the sandpit and bury yourself in it.

I can’t decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing – to acknowledge the farting. It’s a completely human thing, passing gas. It’s a biological function that can’t be stopped, no matter how much we’d like it to. We all do it whether we admit it or not. But is it as deserving of the attention as say, a sneeze? We don’t hover over a sneeze for as long as we do a fart.

True, farts can be smelly. And linger. And to some degree, they can be controlled. (Although no one likes to and that can hurt and if you deny that you’re a liar and a cheat!)

But with little kids, they can’t control things just yet. They gotta let it loose! And yes, they smell. But I think the kids in my classroom have a better idea about how to handle farts than most adults. A quick giggle if anything and then they move on with their lives.

On a side-note, the other teachers don’t seem to have as gaseous children as I do. I guess I just bring out the best in mine! 😉


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